"You smell like a burlap sack of hairy assholes."
To a dumb ass kid in Ionia, MI who called my mexican friend the N word.
"That doesn't change the fact that you're an ignorant asshole, now apologize to my friend"
Purposely mixing up Dominicans, Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, Cubans, because I know they freak out. (disclaimer: don't do this unless you are cool with them, or you WILL get shanked.)
"What the fuck...that guy claimed mustard jihad on my shoes"
On tour with For the Fallen Dreams to a local opening band.
"Your band is alright, if you meant to sound like everyone else."